Haus Keeper
So Far
3 weeks ago I bought a house. While I knew that I was getting into a mighty big project, I am still standing here absolutely astounded by how many problems a seemingly sweet, innocent house can hold. This isn’t even my first rodeo. I bought my first house in 2016, a 60’s brick ranch with short squat walls and even smaller windows. That house came with a fair share of surprises as well, but we muddled through, made a home, and learned the basics of property maintenance there. Despite my relative familiarity of this undertaking, our 1830s Vermont farmhouse is an entirely different rodeo on an entirely unfamiliar planet. My face feels like it is stuck in a perpetual pout as the bad news continues to roll in, but at the end of the day when I drive away from the little old house (goodness no – I am not currently living there!), I kind of beam a bit inside imagining what beauty she has hidden under her crumbling facade.
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How to begin
Despite the adages, I’ve come to believe endings are pretty easy. Closing a door comes quite naturally to me; I’ve always been a quitter. I relish the closure of wrapping things up, preferably in floral paper + a pristine bow. When you’re ending something, there is only one answer, one possibility, one destination: the end. Naturally, as someone who walks away with ease, beginnings, with their promise of more risks, more possibilities, more…unwrapping + unraveling, instill a deep knot of horror in my delicate quitter’s heart. Endings are straightforward, no expectations, only the cessation of whatever you’re exiting. But beginnings, beginnings… a vast expanse of the unknown, a journey to the beyond, no end in sight…a total nightmare to a quitter like me.